They are returning: the Sleepless Ones. Lumbering towards me, large, furry, with eyes closed. Getting Closer. What will they do once they find me?

Prolly not a whole lot: shake me and lift me from the ground – because they're so much bigger than I. I can never figure out whether they are friends or enemies. I think they're just lonely and see me as a soft mark. Well, ok. I kinda like the big furry beasts. I don't care if no one else does, and now, I've managed to set up my life so I can entertain them.

I have a Facebook friend who posts tons of photos of people. He’s in “issue-based” politics, as he says, which means that though his day job is a campaign coordinator for the Wilderness Committee, he’s also active in the Stop the Gateway Project, Save UBC Farm, the Green Party and a host of other activities. He’s also a filmmaker and an awesome and engaging speaker.

Along with his steady stream of newspaper stories, invites to demos and actions and personal commentary on issues and events, Ben posts pictures – lots of them. Often, they are just of people he is hanging around with and his cats. He uses his cellphone and uploads them on the spot to his Facebook page.

It’s an ingenious, simple use of technology and resources. You can buy an expensive fancy camera or spend money on a data plan for your cellphone, take pics as you go about your life and share ‘em. I bet you will get more fun out of the phone camera and data plan than from an additional, heavier unit you’d have to carry around, unpack and deploy whenever you wanted to use it.

I realize now that it is my destiny to be unhappy! Oh, what a release to accept this! I do not need to strive for happiness – it’s all bollocks anyway! Dyed, straightened hair, French tips, tanned perfection – tis not me. Not at all!

I’m imperfect: big gap between my front teeth, nose that is almost African in it’s roundness and lips that could definitely be African in origin!* No ass. Naturally inward pointing toes and the horrid bunions that my Mom had! Imperfection: a glorious, individual blight on the form of accepted (mostly white, upper class defined) female beauty. Tall, blond, blue-eyed and fair – so close - but for the unsightly gap, obscene feet and narrow hips, I’d be a Great Beauty. So close – yet so fucking gloriously far!

Oh, and let’s not get into the brains thing. Ewwww! A pet who’ll put you in your place. Women look shitty with glasses anyway.

We're taking Frog Style to the Huge Time!

We will be changing up the look too, in the coming days so wait.

Malcolm