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Note that we've played, um, loose with the categories so the first 3 especially, are practically meaningless.

Fun
Fashion
Happiness

Efficiency
News 4 A 1
Reich 4.0

Imperfection: my New BFF

I realize now that it is my destiny to be unhappy! Oh, what a release to accept this! I do not need to strive for happiness – it’s all bollocks anyway! Dyed, straightened hair, French tips, tanned perfection – tis not me. Not at all!

I’m imperfect: big gap between my front teeth, nose that is almost African in it’s roundness and lips that could definitely be African in origin!* No ass. Naturally inward pointing toes and the horrid bunions that my Mom had! Imperfection: a glorious, individual blight on the form of accepted (mostly white, upper class defined) female beauty. Tall, blond, blue-eyed and fair – so close - but for the unsightly gap, obscene feet and narrow hips, I’d be a Great Beauty. So close – yet so fucking gloriously far!

Oh, and let’s not get into the brains thing. Ewwww! A pet who’ll put you in your place. Women look shitty with glasses anyway.

It explains so much: the lack of acceptance by other girls, the constant companion “I am Other”, the anger, the confusion: I was never made for this world; I was made for the metaphysical, a place where women can go head to head with anyone and actually win, but for the social mores, ridiculous rules and games that revolve around who you know and who you are nice to (which often means putting yourself down so someone else can feel important, which further leads to lack of respect for yourself by others in an unending spiral downwards til all you have left is Jesus and Death – oh and an a Virgin Mother – cold comfort when the men get the kind, fair Father in the Sky, the brother who died for them AND the Holy-Spirit-Little-Buddy to warm their hearts and souls. Women get a woman who does abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING, except cry over her hero son.)

In fact, Mary was one brilliant cunt. In a time when women were killed for pregnancy outside of marriage, she convinced a community to believe she was Immaculately Concepted and turned her doomed child from No Future to the Son of Man. Sure, he had to die on a cross, but what were the other options for the bastard child of an unmarried girl? Cause she probably did all this when she was a teen, or at the very least, in her twenties.

Fuck, I hate men. Why are you so bent on destroying women? What do you think we’re going to do? Laugh at your small penises the way you laugh at our too fat asses/too skinny asses, too small tits, wrong colour eyes, etc, etc, etc?

Glorious, individual IMPERFECTION! That’s it. This is Me. The friend I’ve looked for all my life.

*In no way do I think it's an imperfection to look African; I'm describing the beauty ideals I grew up with.

Image: Me with my new BFF.

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